(You done) Good Girl

Concept by Amanda Grunloh, Photographed by Bruin Acuña

(You done) Good Girl (2023) was inspired by the affirmation stickers I received on my homework assignments and tests as an elementary student. Stickers that celebrated intelligence and good work but why as an adult do I feel inadequate and out of control?

I struggle with gender identity, sexuality, mental illness, and finding my purpose in a world that isn’t forgiving to people that don’t know themselves. These matters act as a wall between myself and my peers where I can’t fully indulge in relationships like most do. Many people know what they desire but my intuitions and desires have historically bowed down to the louder voices that don’t know me. I’ve been reluctant to share because I fear being defined and criticized (and perhaps '‘diagnosed”) by the louder voices.

As a lifelong performer and person who silently struggles with disordered eating (ARFID), Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Anxiety, and medical trauma I aim to emphasize the importance that is put on body image and how that affects perceptions of sexuality. I wanted to share my frustration for unrealistic expectations and society’s limited respect for women. I juxtaposed the vibrant, yet tiny affirmations scattered across the outside of my body that have yet to seep in and the black garments I use to minimize attention to the parts that inevitably get more attention. This work challenges comments directed at the most “valuable” parts of a woman’s body in a public setting so the viewer can face their hidden and often offensive desires without the protection of privacy. By taking what many see as clothing meant as an invitation and prohibiting touching, I address my own fears and body dysmorphia to welcome independence. If predators can be perverts in public, why can’t the targets confront them in public?